Joys of the Disenchanted

April Goals. . .

2011-04-03T20:28:00.002-06:00

Work Out five days a week at 5am. Write for pleasure at least two hours a week.

Wish me luck

Generous Beauty

2011-03-01T19:48:00.002-07:00

It Doesn't Get Better Than This

2011-02-23T20:46:00.002-07:00

Yes Please

2011-02-11T15:09:00.001-07:00

Birthday Eve

2011-01-03T20:13:00.004-07:00

31 How did you find me?!?!

Waiting a Long Wait

2010-12-29T20:49:00.003-07:00

If you have been waiting all year for a GREAT movie. One with an interesting plot, clever dialogue and amazing actors. I have just the movie for you . . . The King's Speech. I was surprised by how engaging the story was. It was filmed beautifully. I would see it again in the theater. This is one movie that has received rave reviews and deserved every one of them. The King's Speech gives me hope that there are good movies being made. So friends see this movie and enjoy watching a movie that makes you think, laugh and maybe even tear up.

Merry Christmas 2010

2010-12-25T10:26:00.006-07:00

Lost Without My Camera

2010-12-22T21:35:00.003-07:00

I left my camera at my brothers house on Sunday and I haven't gone to pick it up yet. It is weird to not have anything but a camera phone at my finger tips. I received two cameras (camera #2 is in storage) last year during my Christmas/Birthday time. Yes they are close enough to be thought of as one. Anyway, I have loved having these camera's to capture fun moments and happy memories. In honor of my awesome camera's here are a few pictures of what they captured during Christmas/Birthday time last year. I will soon post some pictures of this December's adventures as soon as I find my way back to my brothers house.

I am excited for another year of fun filled memories with my family and friends. Thank goodness for camera's.

Sounds of the Holidays

2010-12-17T13:33:00.002-07:00

Dear Friends,

These are for your listening pleasure. Happy Holidays!!

Love,
Becky

My Favorite Things About Christmas

2010-12-11T09:54:00.014-07:00

Contrary to popular belief I am not the biggest Scrooge ever. I genuinely love the Christmas season. There is something special about this time of year. Its nothing that can be put into words, because for each person this special something is different. I want to share a few things that give me that warm fuzzy Christmas feeling.

Temple Square Lights and Nativity Scenes

These two things make me feel peaceful and like nothing in the world can go wrong. These scenes remind me of when my mom would bundle me and my siblings up in layers and layers of clothes to walk around Temple Square and take in the sights. Though it was a struggle for her to get my little brother to wear a pair of his sisters tights under his pants to keep warm. It was worth the effort on my moms part. It is one of my happiest childhood memories.

SNOW

I love that snow can frame and enhance a scene in a way that stirs my emotions and imagination.

Christmas Treats for the Eyes, Ears, Mouth and Nose

During this life of hustle and bustle there is something very soothing about coming home putting on my jammies and falling into the therapeutic sights, sounds, tastes and smells of the season. I have a strange love for Little Debbie Christmas Tree Snacks. I could eat an entire box while enjoying a Christmas movie. To kick the awesomeness up a notch I add a nummy pine scented candle and twinkling lights from a Christmas tree and that is my recipe for Christmas Bliss.

November?

2010-12-05T17:21:00.010-07:00

I am trying to figure out how November past in the blink of an eye. Maybe its because I wished the first nineteen days of November away in excited anticipation. Maybe its because I was less thrilled about the rapidly approaching Holiday season. Regardless of the reason I am grateful I have photo evidence of its existence. Otherwise years from now I would be asking myself if November 2010 really happened.

The first evidence of November happening was the Harry Potter movie marathon. There was a lot of junk food, laughter and a few awesome naps. Naps are a very important part of viewing 454 minutes of Harry Potter.

HARRY POTTER DAY!!! November 19th! Eric and I took the day off and saw the movie twice. It was a great movie! I can't wait for July when the final Harry Potter installment comes out. Again there was a lot of junk food. There were no naps, but there was shopping. At ROSS we discovered the most ridiculously ugly men's shoes I had ever seen.

After I came off my Harry Potter high it was suddenly Thanksgiving. It was a great relaxing day. I enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner with my Dad, Step-mom Ellen and my Oma. It was prepared with love by Marie Calender's. Seriously it was a delicious meal. I am thankful I was able to spend Thanksgiving with three amazing people.

I am grateful for all of these fun experiences. Looks like November was pretty awesome. I look forward to the adventures that December has in store.

Loving Dysfunction a Christmas Story

2010-11-01T08:52:00.004-06:00

As I pulled up to what I consider an enormous home (3 floors, 6 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, 1 unfinished basement) I take a deep breath in. I remind myself that its only one night and the people on the other side of the two story high door are my family and I love them. I am about to enter into what I can only describe as loving dysfunction. I have come to understand mine is not the only family that has their quirks. Tonight is the Jarvis Family Christmas party. It is a roller coaster ride of Christmas Carols, screaming children, laughing adults and just a hint of good old fashion guilt. The guilt is more of a feeling that is probably exclusive to me. Before I talk myself out of going inside I push open my car door. The cold December air hits my flushed face and I am grateful for its cooling effects. I gather my food assignment, white elephant gift and make my way to door.

Before I can even knock, one of the gaggle of my adorable girl great-cousins opens the door. I immediately hear the sound of high pitch giggling and feel about ten sets of arms wrapped around my waist and my legs. I realize that I am on of the high pitched gigglers and I feel slightly more at ease. I trudge inside with the little octopus arms entangling me. Another guest arrives behind me and they unleash their tentacles and go after new prey.

I am struck by how warm the house is. Not physically warm, but more of a homey warm. It gives me a sense of security that I cherish. The familiar smells of pumpkin spice candles and homemade rolls waft over me. It’s practically intoxicating and I can’t help but smile. I walk into the kitchen encountering at least 5 of my 20 some odd girl cousins and at least two of my five aunts. As always they are chirping away. “Can I help? Let me help? Don’t you need help?” the choir of nagging voices is directed at my Aunt Lori the hostess. I don’t join in this chorus because I have learned if she wants help she will ask for it. I put the rich marshmallow brownies I made on the counter and give my Aunt Lori soft smack on the butt, smile and I wink at her. This is my way of saying “Hey I am here and nice to see you.” As I make my way out of the kitchen I hug the chicks, make quick small talk with all them and I hastily escape the hen house seeking more serene pastures.

My family are dedicated, giving, loving people with a strong Mormon background. Mormon’s believe families are eternal. Every member of my very large extended family has extraordinary family values. They also believe in the sanctity of marriage and the importance of having babies. Here is where my neurotic guilt shifts into high gear. I attend family events and I watch them interact as small family units and then as the extended family unit. I feel inadequate because I am thirty and divorced. I feel a little empty because I don’t have kids. I feel really guilty that I don’t think I want kids. I feel ridiculous for envying the cute husbands and wives that I am surrounded by. I long for the companionship that they appear to have. I feel self indulgent that in my head (and sometimes out loud) I am making snide comments about some of the more aggravating members of my family.

I have reached the solitude I was searching for. I am curled up in a corner of an over sized black leather couch in the spacious living room next my wonderful cousin Candace. Next to my sister, she is my rock. What I love about Candace is that she doesn’t say anything unless it’s worth saying. We are sitting quietly listening to the sounds of children screaming echo off the vaulted ceilings. When by the grace of all that is holy my Uncle Glenn (the host) calls everybody’s attention to him. My nerves are going to get a break. He welcomes everyone to his home. There are at least 50 of my relatives packed into the living room. The only lights in the room are coming from the adjoining kitchen and the eight foot tall Christmas tree in the corner. The white lights from the tree are providing angelic glows to my family members closest to the tree. I survey the masses. In one room I find it remarkable that there are four generations of people. My uncle mentions the same thing I have just observed. All the adults are crying now. It confuses the children. We all understand that this could be the last year we are all together. My Grandparents are getting old. Uncle Glenn offers a blessing on the food. Its more than a blessing, it’s a prayer of gratitude for the last year of life, safety and blessings that our entire family has experienced. Once he says amen the atmosphere changes from reverent to raucous.

A serve yourself buffet has been laid out for everyone. If a person comes away hungry from this spread it’s because their jaw is wired shut. There is ham, cheesy potatoes, crock pots full of little sausages and pork and beans, salads of every sort ranging from run of the mill iceberg lettuce to, Top Ramen salad to Jello Salad. There are veggie trays and fruit trays. We admittedly are a family that loves their sweets, pies, cookies, brownies, cake and at least three different kinds of ice cream await us for dessert. Everyone gorges themselves to the point of moaning in regret of our glutinous consumptions.

Now that we have all entered into a relaxing food coma we all gather into the same room again to start the family traditions. The room is hushed as my Grandfather now in his mid eighties begins to read the Christmas Story from the King James Bible. The great grandchildren are restless; most of the grandkids (our ages ranging from three years to thirty nine years old) are quiet and respectful; the children are in tears. They are tears of appreciation for their parents. Then my Grandmother reads The Night Before Christmas. Her face lights up as she sees the enthusiastic attentive face of the sweet great grandchildren and their uncommon focus on the story and colorful illustrations; the grandchildren are practically asleep and the children are still tearing up. The stories are over and we sing Silver Bells and a variety of other Christmas Carols. The joyful singing has revived us from the sleepy state we were being lulled into by the familiarity of the voices around us and the heat of the living room.

The night has past so quickly. The little ones exchange their gifts. There is excitement and disappointment. There is even fighting because one child didn’t get what the other did. Then it’s the adults turn. My Aunt Lori tries to make a game of it, but we all are starting to feel worn out. We stage a coup and exchange the gifts quickly. Parents wrangle their grumpy, sleepy kids. They chase the children, make stern demands to gather their belongings and give hugs. Finally the children are bundled up in their puffy warm winter coats and hauled off to their cars fighting sleep and their parents.

I gather my empty brownie pan and white elephant gift (a useless object that I will throw away in the morning). I say my goodbyes. There are so many hugs and come visits and empty promises of see you soon. I lean down and kiss my sweet Grandmothers forehead and try to hold back my tears. It is so difficult to watch someone I once thought to be the pillar of strength age into a frail ghost of who she used to be. I gather my thoughts and tell her I love her. I make my way to the door and holler one last so long to the few remaining guests.

The heavy door closes behind me and the cold air hits my face again. I breathe in the fresh air a welcome change from the stuffy house I just left. As I get in my car and adjust my review mirror and watch the lights of the house fade away. I reflect on the evening. It is one more Christmas party behind me. I made it through. I kept to myself most of the night, guarded and dodging the questions that would make me feel defensive and more insecure about my current single childless status. I am grateful I attended and I store every moment that made me smile in my soul for safe keeping. However I am happy that I have one more year to mentally prepare for this night.

Authors Note: I wrote this narrative for an English Composition Class that I am currently taking.

Hiking

2010-10-03T13:21:00.005-06:00

This summer I tried something new. I hiked . . .a lot! I have seen some awesome scenery. I feel really lucky and happy that I have been able to experience these trails with some amazing people. All of this adventure makes me excited to see what fun the fall and winter will hold.

Yes, Utah is beautiful!

Fun with Flowers

2010-09-08T19:14:00.004-06:00

Secret Garden

2010-09-08T19:02:00.003-06:00

After a quick summer storm I was sitting outside on my back patio. I was enjoying the feeling of a cool breeze caressing my face. The smell of rain calmed me and the beauty around me. . .just take a look for yourself. No words can do the scene justice.

Loving Appreciation

2010-07-16T16:55:00.005-06:00

This is dedicated to The Wasatch Mountain Range …

I fell in love with you all over again today. I tried so very hard to forget the comfort you provided. I had done a satisfactory job at it for a long time. I had even seen you in passing over the years, but I had always done well to keep my distance, admiring your majesty from a far. I was drawn to you today by fate. Your serenity soothed my anxious heart, your stillness and welcoming spirit brought me to tears. For a moment I allowed myself to imagine what it would be like if we were together again. I fantasized about meaningful hikes, memorable sunsets and moments of freedom. Your grandeur has always made me feel like I could reach extraordinary heights. Inside and out I love you. Every color you yield on your perfectly imperfect surface made me long to be near you. Yet the fact is that we reside in two different places that seem worlds apart. As I left your presence today I admired your strength and fragility. You reminded me that it is normal to look to you for safety. I will not repress the memories I have with you nor will I stay away for so long again. I love you still.

That Makes Me Happy

2010-07-02T08:00:00.006-06:00

I recently went on a week long road trip to Seattle, WA and Vancouver, BC with three awesome friends. It was great! There was a lot of laughter and randomness again confirming my life is a sitcom. I was continually a passenger in elevators full of people who only spoke French. They were super nice and said things to me in French. Which made me want to speak French. Because it would have made eavesdropping on their conversations even more entertaining. Every time I reached my floor I was smiling. Their joy was contagious. I now know the Jingle Jangle dance thanks to its inventor my fellow traveler Miss Photogenic. Speaking of dancing when you shake your booty while driving you have to shake your shoulders. . .its a fact. Another fact . ..that I wasn't aware of is that some people (specifically the Notorious GQT) can fall asleep anywhere, any time and at their own will. This fascinated me. The most mind blowing realization of all is that the Captain of this journey had the most incredible ability to navigate cities effortlessly. As a girl who has a difficult time finding her car in parking lots this is a phenomenal talent. I am happy that I had the opportunity to see places I have never been and enjoy awesome company. Here are a few glimpses of the journey.

See Miss Photogenic!!

Our Fearless Captain

Notorious GQT rockin the sleep pose

Did It Again

2010-06-12T12:06:00.007-06:00

I have had the fantastic opportunity to be outside more this year then I have since I was a kid. I have loved every minute of it. I have sat outside in the mornings on my patio and done homework and read. I am currently outside watching a squirrel running along the top of the fence that separates my house from the house in back of mine. The dog is laying at my feet and is between sleep and awake. If she was truly awake she would be chasing the squirrel and barking like a made woman. I have taken the dog for walks at night and witnessed sunsets that have rendered me speechless. I need to start bringing my camera on those walks so I can share the subject of my awe and gratitude for the world around me. I have attached some pictures to show how the scenery around Boise has reminded me again of its amazing beauty.

Perfectly Awesome

2010-03-10T18:43:00.004-07:00

I took a mini vacation this past weekend. Mister E and I went on a day trip to Bryce Canyon. It was a fantastic day! I have never been there before and I was in awe of its beauty. There were so many moments that I had to stop and catch my breath. That could be why I took over 300 pictures in a 7 hour time frame. My partner in Awesomeness took 689.

You can catch your breath now.

When I Grow Up

2010-02-05T13:27:00.002-07:00

I have more hopes and dreams of what I want to be when I grow up at the age of 30 then I did at the age of 10. I want to make a difference. I want to enjoy my job. I want my job to be fun. I want my job to require me to travel and learn about new places and cultures. I want to make a lot of money. I want to use that money to live comfortably and help my loved ones live comfortably. I want to feel damn good at my job. If anyone has any idea what job fits this description please let me know.

Until then I will continue to be grateful for all I do have.

However it never hurts to dream!

What makes your heart sing?

2010-01-26T13:00:00.003-07:00

I wonder. . .

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

2010-01-18T08:40:00.001-07:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Happy New Year

2009-12-31T07:01:00.002-07:00

I wish you year full of hope and prosperity. A year of new beginnings and joy. 2010 will be a year of excitement and happiness!

Christmas Is Here If You Care

2009-12-01T13:14:00.004-07:00

I care! For the first time in YEARS I care. I am so excited about Christmas this year. Since October I have been looking at Christmas decorations with the slightest bit of shame. I happened to be one of the people in years past that would bah-humbug such action. I couldn't understand why everyone wanted to skip months of thier lives just to "enjoy" one day out of the year. This year is different though. I know why I am excited its not because of gift getting or gift giving. Its because its the time of year when there is a collective effort to be kind and to look inside yourself and find the good in life. Now combine those things with comforting lights on a Christmas Tree, the familar crooning of Bing Crosby and Rose Mary Clooney and the smell of pepermint hot chocolate it gives me an overwhelming sense of excitement.

To help me explain my transformation I call upon Faith Hill. . .See the lyrics below from http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/faithhill/whereareyouchristmas.html

"Where Are You Christmas"

Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time

I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love

So my peeps don't get bogged down by the commercial bombardment of Christmas. Keep it simple, Love is all you need to give this year.

I would also like to thank all of our service men and women and their families. Merry Christmas Troops!

Feeling Quiet

2009-11-18T14:22:00.002-07:00

It is strange not to have the Internet at home anymore. Even more strange is that at work I am cutting down on my Internet usage too. My life will never be Internet free, but I am excited to say its not as Internet dependant anymore.

I haven't been on Facebook in a while. I have determined its good thing to not have constant access to a bombardment of information that doesn't really change my world. No more seeing who is finding a lost sheep on who's its ville and what's its farm. It is also good for me to not take every quiz about what sort of personality disorder I have (but I don't think awesomeness is a disorder).

I have made more time for important things like hanging out with friends, making winter hats and scarfs, reading and cleaning. Its great. My obsessive compulsive desire to know every little detail of all my friends lives was getting out of hand. Worse then that was my compulsion to check if anyone was commenting on my cute pictures or cleverness. Vain??? Yes, so to say the least this is a learning experience in humility and reminding myself that what matters in the long run is what I think about myself.

I have enjoyed the quiet. I don't feel I have to have noise or media flashing at me ALL OF THE TIME. It is wonderful. I have greater sense of my space and where I am in it. Its nice when you take time to make everything around you stop spinning and just hold still and quiet your soul and yes my friends BREATHE.

Vision

2009-10-19T12:43:00.005-06:00

Last week in Happy Class we started vision boards. A vision board is a tool to help you create a matching vibration to what it is you want to have/be or do in your life and in your world. http://www.squidoo.com/what-is-a-vision-board. I was thrilled to be doing this. A few months ago I had made 3 small visions boards for my house and they make me very happy. I have collected a ton of magazines for cards that I make. I had all the tools necessary to make an outstanding vision board. It took me hours this weekend to complete it, but it was worth it. It was an interesting way for me to gain some insight into my dreams, goals and soul.

The first pictures are of the meager beginnings of my vision started last Tuesday:

Travel Section: Well its obvious that I need to go to Europe.

Love Section: Yes I am aware that Hugh Jackman is taken, but I would like someone with a kind smile and compassionate eyes.

Me Section: Who I am and who I want to become.

Health Section: Though its missing in these initial pictures it makes a grand appearance in the finished project.

This is my finished board the picture doesn't do it justice. I have to say I love my board its inspiring and exciting.

This is the mess I made . . .I enjoyed every moment of it.

Happiness Homework

2009-10-04T20:02:00.003-06:00

I signed up for a community education class that started last Tuesday. The class is called Creating Happiness: Law of Attraction. As I have only attended one class its hard to explain just what the class is all about other then putting into practice the art of being happy. Of course it is acknowledged that people aren't happy all of the time. Your happiness is your responsibility and nobody elses. We were assigned to think about what makes us happy and come back this week and share. Of course I wrote down what makes me happy and I thought I would share with my blog readers (this is only a glimps of what makes me happy). I also challenge you all to think about what makes you happy.

What Makes Me Happy...
Music-because its an expression of all the emotions that touch my soul
Singing
My family and friends - the support and love they give me is infinate
Making people smile and laugh
Accomplishing my health goals
Nurturing and caring for others
Paying my bills
My job and my co-workers (seriously I have a great job and work with awesome people!)
My Mazda Protege aka Baby
Good books that inspire me to be the best version of me and encourage me to grow
Having the ability to create and share my creations with others
My body, all my senses, my moving limbs, my voice
Laughing until I "weeze" or can't breathe
Movies
Pajama Days
Traveling and seeing other places. Learning what makes these places and its people special.
Learning
Watching documentaries on PBS about subjects that I may not have ever been exposed to otherwise
Getting letters, cards and magazines in the mail
Smell of bubble gum and pepermint gum
Having a place to live and food to eat
Knowing I am not alone in this universe
Having a sense of community and commonality with human kind
Knowing that a broken heart can't kill me
Hope
Faith in myself
Hugs
Smiles from strangers
Being able to afford to decorate my home
Ice Cream especially chocolate peanut butter cup blizzards from Dairy Queen
Confidence
My clothes being to big for me because I have lost inches
Seasons
Cloud watching
Sunsets
Love and peace of mind make me the most happy

My Five Love Lanuages Results

2009-08-25T11:43:00.004-06:00

The Five Love Lanuages is a phenomenal book and I recomend it to anyone who wants to gain compassion for others.

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Words of Affirmation

My Detailed Results:
Words of Affirmation:	11
Physical Touch:	10
Quality Time:	6
Acts of Service:	3
Receiving Gifts:	0

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

See what your love language is
http://edified.org/myspace/lovelanguage

Dirty Little Fun Haver

2009-08-25T00:00:00.004-06:00

It has been almost 2 months since I have posted anything. I know crazy. What better time to post something then at midnight? That is right no other time is better.

The past 2 months have been full of good times. My friend Eric came to visit me and we had a wicked awesome time! A few weeks later my mom and Aunt Shana came to visit. We had a blast.

I have been watching movies like crazy. Last week I discovered Netflix. Its the new love of my life! I had been aprehensive about it for so long and when I finally opened my mind and heart to it I quickly became a helpless victim to the seduction of movies at my command. I can watch movies online, I can have dvd's sent to me. . .My movie geek self is in heaven. My second love is still the movie theater. I was there 2 times this weekend.

My latest imporant life developements are changing my phone number to a Boise number. Its nuts because I had the same phone number for about 8 years. However I felt it was time to change my mumber to a Boise number because I love it here. Its home and I am not planning on going anywhere. I am also going to get my Idaho drivers licence this week. I am actually excited about it all.

Well I think that is a good enough update for now. I am ready to try to sleep again.

Classy, Funky, Comfort

2009-07-01T21:14:00.008-06:00

I don't like buying shoes. I don't like buying clothes. I like buying books, movies and Cd's. The things I like buying never make me second guess my looks or make me wonder why the hell my feet are swollen. Today however I went clothes/shoe shopping. I had to. In the last 3 weeks I have had to retire 3 pairs of dressy work pants because they are too big. Luckily I had 2 pairs of pants hidding on the shelf in my closet that I had hoped to fit into one day (low and behold that wonderful day came). It is awesome to go down sizes. However I wore my pants until when I walked they fell off me, because I loath clothes shopping so much. This morning I had to use a black sash to tie my pants up so they wouldn't fall off. I also had to toss a pair of work shoes today because the fabric had torn away from the sole of the shoe. Because of those 2 major events I took the time to go to Ross and Payless. At Ross I found a pair of pants 2 shirts and a pair of dress shoes. At Payless I found some funky fun shoes that made me feel GIDDY!! The following are pictures of my Classy new work shoes, my Funky shoes, and my favorite most Comfortable shoes. I would be lost without my comfortable shoes and they will have to be deteriorating before I ever toss them (sadly I think that day maybe soon)

CLASSY

Funky

Comfort

Earwigs Be Ware!

2009-06-28T19:20:00.003-06:00

Let me start out by stating I am not a gardener. I have never loved anything that has to do with working outside when its hot. I would rather work on a car and get grease under my nails and oil in my face then wrestle with nature. Don't get me wrong I like to view nature and be surrounded by nature I just don't like to try to control it. Now that you know this you are properly prepared to hear the rest of my story.

I have a garden along the side of my garage that runs parallel to the sidewalk that leads to my front door. I have successfully neglected this garden up until today. I had let it get over grown and sad. I love my home and was determined this weekend to take care of the outside. I went to Fred Meyer and got some gardening gloves and a little spade. I already had clippers thanks to my friend Megan. I set everything next to my front door on Friday night so it would stare at me and force me to take care of the mess along my garage. Around 5:30 this evening when the garden was shaded I ventured into the great wild.

Here is what I found. My 4 rose bushes had to be trimmed back so much that there are no longer roses on them. The iris plant that I have will be easy to dig up as soon as I find a shovel. I have an earwig problem. Yep, the last thing is going to make me a gardener. The earwigs, destroyed my roses and that is why I had to trim them back to nothing. I now care what my garden looks like. I am going to wrestle nature and win!!! I will have a beautiful garden that shows how much I love my cute house. I will no longer let it be over run by weeds and ugly bugs that don't love my garden like I do!

-I would also like to take a moment to show my appreciation to the Ipod GODS!! Without them my gardening love would be more like gardening obligation and disdain!-

Early Morning Adventures of an Insomniac

2009-06-21T14:12:00.013-06:00

Saturday at 2:30 am I was wide awake. 3:30 am still not sleeping tried reading. 4:30 am annoyed with reading started surfing the net. 5:30 thought hey I have never been to Oregon, I think its about time. So I hopped in my car and drove to Ontario, OR.

I ended up in the most beautiful place. It was Ontario State Recreation Site. Its not far off the freeway. I enjoyed the view of the Snake River. The sound combination of the river, the wind blowing through the trees and the birds was so inviting. I sat on a tree and lost myself in the moment. It was just what I needed to clear my mind and find some peace. I was so glad that I decided to throw some spontaneity into my world.

As I was sitting there breathing deeply enjoying the nature around me I realized that I want a big kid camera. I would love to take up photography as a hobby and I am afraid that the camera on my cell phone just isn't going to work for this new goal.

This picture is to remind you all that I LOVE hooded sweatshirts. It was the perfect temperature for a sweatshirt. This unseasonably cool June freaking ROCKS (yes I am doing the Hoddie Happy Dance)

I am happy to report that when I returned home from my adventure I went to sleep for a few hours. I woke up refreshed. I proceeded to have an eventful, fun and FANTASTIC Saturday.

Welcoming Change

2009-06-14T20:52:00.004-06:00

The last month has delivered a lot of interesting experiences. It always amazes me how much I can learn about myself in a short period of time. What I have learned is that the my path may not be clear now, but when the fog lifts I will see that the rocks I have stumbled over have actually been stepping stones to great personal achievement's. I will be closer to my ultimate goals. Through tears, sweat, self-doubt and fatigue I have found that embracing change and not fighting it, is much better for my stubborn soul. I know now when I accept change I feel peaceful. I have realized that change does NOT equal challenge. As I write this I can't help but smile. I am happy and grateful for the changes in my life and I now welcome them with hope and love.

Art of Me

2009-05-29T12:43:00.003-06:00

Well folks tomorrow night my self-art project will be complete. Yes, 2 years in the works my tattoo will finally be finished. I am very excited for this process to be finished for many reasons. It holds a lot of symbolism and it has an interesting story. Which I may elaborate on when I post the pictures of the finished masterpiece. Until then here is a sneak peak.

Breakfast for Dinner

2009-05-24T20:36:00.008-06:00

I just made myself scrambled eggs and chocolate chip pancakes . . . for dinner! I love breakfast its my favorite meal of the day. I normally have a bowl of cereal for at least one of my daily meals. I love eggs and could eat them for every meal. However I think that would be bad for my already high cholesterol. As a tribute to my favorite meal... BREAKFAST here are my top 5 favorite things to eat for the most important meal of the day.

#5 The Breakfast Burrito: The best are from Betos, Carls Jr, Wendy's and Sonic. I haven't had one in a very long time. Which is probably a good thing.

#4 Denny's Moons Over My Hammy®
Ham and scrambled egg sandwich with Swiss and American cheese on grilled sourdough. Served with choice of hash browns or grits.

#3Village Inn
Ham and Cheese Skillet. Yes you are noticing a pattern. In my opinion you can very rarely go wrong with Ham, Cheese, Egg Trio.

#2 Hopper's Restaurant and Grill http://www.hoppersbrewpub.com/
Cinnamon Rolls and Chili Verde Omelet (Lord have mercy my mouth is watering) Luckily every time I am in Utah I manage to meet a friend there for brunch.

and #1 goes to a trusty favorite

CEREAL
Most recently my favorite cereal is Multi-Grain Cheerios

I give honorable mention to: Honey Nut Cheerios, Rice Crispies, Fruity Pebbles, Multi Grain Chex and Life.

I Really Did That?!?!

2009-05-16T20:54:00.005-06:00

If you aren't laughing at those pictures now you will be in just moments! Friday at 4:00 pm I was on my way to the restroom at work. I went to pull the strap up on my left shoe and then my right shoe. Much to my surprise my right shoe had no strap. I then looked down at my shoes to examine exactly how that could be. Then it hit me like a ton of shoes dropping from the heavens. I had worn 2 different shoes. The most astounding thing about this situation is that the day is was almost over and no one at work had noticed and then giving me 8 hours worth of crap. Of course I was giggling non-stop at my discovery and not only shared my shoe moment with all my co-workers, but I sent a text to some of my friends to brighten their Friday afternoon. Now I am sharing it with all of you so that you might know its the small silly moments in life that bring the most happiness.

Spring Is So Much Better

2009-05-11T15:17:00.010-06:00

This past weekend I took a little road trip to the beautiful place I was raised. As I approached Tremonton, UT I held my breath in amazement. The last time I had driven to Utah from Boise,ID I was surrounded by gray snow and barren weathered trees. This time everything was green and lush. I was most happy to see the mountains that had protected me for so many years. I was in such awe of them I had to take a picture. Yes I took this picture while I was driving.

The morning after I arrived in Utah my sister and I went for a walk around her neighborhood. I was so grateful I brought my phone with me so that I could get these pictures. I was in the company of my wonderful sister and nature. The next morning my kick ass brother and I went for a hike (saddly I forgot my phone so there are no pictures), but I again lucked out and had great company and wonders of nature.

I had a wonderful trip and was thrilled to see all my family and friends. I was also exctited to get back to my cute home and my AWESOME bed.

Yay for the Great State of Idaho!

Corner of Heaven

2009-05-03T13:50:00.005-06:00

My bedroom is complete except for some wall art and some photos of my Family I want to frame. It truely is my very own corner of heaven. Some people do double takes when they walk away from a hot lover, or a sexy car and I do double takes when I walk out of my bedroom.

I had 2 extra king sized shams. So my friend gave me an old ottoman and this is what I did with the shams.

I love my home and I love my room!

Thanks to My Friends

2009-04-24T14:13:00.000-06:00

I have noticed a trend in my life. Most of my closest friends live far away. On occasion this makes me sad. However the roads that separate us have been taken for good reason. Life has happened to all of us. Jobs have moved us, lovers found and lost have located and relocated us, opportunities and enlightenment have driven us to exactly where we need to be. We have made new friends and add to the richness of our lives. New experiences have brought us one step closer to the people we want to be. The most long lasting friendships can endure these changes in our lives, press forward through distance and span years. I am grateful for the friendships that have touched my life. It is encouraging to know that I am truly never alone. One email, instant message, text, phone call, Facebook status or home made card will draw my strongest supporters to my side in the moments when I need it most.

To all of you that are part of my crazy life Thank You for all the anxieties you have eased with love, the angry moments you have turned into laughter, the frustrations and disappointments that you have melted away with a hug and the silly moments that have become inside jokes that I cherish. You are my angels and I love you.

Happy News!

2009-04-10T13:31:00.002-06:00

Let it be written. Let it be known. After many months of anticipation I finally know how much my tax refund will be. I am happy to announce that it is enough for me to get a QUEEN SIZE BED!!!!! I am currently sleeping on a lumpy twin size mattress that is on a steel frame and its very low to the ground. Though I am grateful to have a bed at all. My excitement for a new bed is overwhelming. Now I will eagerly await the arrival of the money into my checking account. I am thrilled to start mattress shopping and searching for the perfect bedding!!! My bedroom will finally be able to come together as a sanctuary not just a place I try to sleep. Thank you all for sharing my joy!!

My New Favorite Things

2009-02-27T21:20:00.009-07:00

My Ipod Nano with the sport arm band. It is what keeps me working out and distracts me from the monotony.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog is my favorite thing to watch/listen to over and over again. I almost have it memorized it is the most fantastic thing ever. It has the best one liners such as "I hold a PHD in horribleness" or "What a crazy random happenstance" or "How are things with cheesy on the outside?" If you haven't seen it you must check it out! http://www.drhorrible.com

RENT the final Broadway performance. I bought it at Walmart on Valentines Day. I have watched 3 or 4 times since I purchased it. It has always amazed me how much live theater (even if I am not there) inspires me. I actually like the stage version better then the Hollywood version.

Going to the gym. Yes you read right. I said one of my favorite things is going to the gym. I love the satisfaction of being able to improve my distance, incline or speed each time I get on the treadmill. I love that I am doing something to help me improve my life for me because I want to. Its starting to verge on fun for me. I will be able to go hiking in Muller Park canyon when I am in Utah in May and that thrills me to no end. Yay for me! Its so weird to write all this and not be sarcastic.

PBS its like a drug

2009-02-14T12:01:00.004-07:00

I have an addiction and its called PBS. There are so many things about it that I can't get enough of. Nature, Nova, The American Experience, British Comedies or any other British shows,cooking shows, home improvement shows and Antique Road Show. I do not have cable. If I did my addiction to educational channels would be much more intense. I would be likely to overdose on the Discovery, History and Travel channels. I can just see it after days of no one hearing from me I would be found on my couch wide eyed, disheveled and mumbling things like "No baby gazelle don't go near that watering hole." and "I hate Samantha Brown she has my dream job. Italy, Paris, Ireland. ..Its not fair." and "Rain forest ecosystems are delicate and complex." It is obvious that only having PBS is a better habit for me to pursue.

Which is More Terrifying

2009-01-31T13:19:00.004-07:00

Teenagers or Horror Movies

Last night a friend and I went to see a movie. We were too late to see all the ones we were really interested in, so we settled for a horror movie The Uninvited.
If you know me you know that at more then one point in this movie I screamed, watched the movie through my fingers and grabbed onto my friends hand. Luckily she did the same. We went to the 8pm showing of the show which is the teenage witching hour. We were overwhelmed by the 12-15 year old crowd. We were the old ladies that didn't want to be up past midnight. As we stood in line we observed the obvious differences and sad similarities between the way teenagers are now and what kind of teenagers we were a life time ago. I know I have said this a thousand times but I wouldn't go back to that age for all the ice cream at Ben and Jerry's. It was a horrible awkward time full of angst and self loathing. I prefer to be approaching 30 full of happiness and self love. We observed the same lack of self identity in these teenagers eyes. We also couldn't help but critique their clothes. Back in the day we rocked baggy boys jeans, baggy t-shirts, flannel shirts and clunky boots. Not only did we look cool (in our minds) we had the comfort of practically wearing jamies. Such is not the case anymore. The look is form fitting layered shirts and skinny jeans. This curvy girl would have requested to be home schooled and locked in a cave if the styles for teenagers now had been my only option. Another thing about teenagers that was brought to our attention last night was that they are mean. More mean then 2 cynical opinionated women in their mid - late twenty's. We walked into the IMAX theater and decided to sit in the top corner. As we sat down a girl screamed on the other side of the theater. My friend said "Hey shut up". I thought she was saying it to the girl on the other side of the theater. The kid in front of us looked at us and I said no not you. My fearless friend said "Yes YOU". Then she turned to me and said he was being rude and I said how rude. She said very rude. I let it drop when people won't tell me details it usually means they are protecting me. For a moment I felt like an insecure teenager again. This experience was a good reminder of how much I appreciate getting older. It also showed me that there is nothing more terrifying then a teenager (not even the undead crawling and clawing their way to your bed).

Accomplishments

2009-01-28T20:43:00.002-07:00

Things I have accomplished in the last week:

Surviving the drive between Boise & Salt Lake City and Salt Lake to Boise. This is a huge deal as the roads were poo both ways.

Making Miss Cassy's hair look "fabulous" for her wedding - she said so.

Starting a body conditioning class through Boise Education. It is awesome!!

I went grocery shopping. This is huge considering my fridge and cupboards were empty. I bought healthy stuff. I even purchased vanilla soy milk for my Special K cereal.

Did laundry (thank God for my Natalie and Andy letting me use their washer and dryer)

Geeked out with Natalie and Andy. Picture 3 adults with 3 laptops sitting at the kitchen table. All 3 listening to music, playing on facebook and watching youtube - Side note: if you haven't yet get on youtube and check out. .. Jeff Dunham, Jim Gaffigan (Hot Pockets), Jeff Dye and the preview for Wolverine!- It was fun!

I haven't ripped my hair out because of the project from hell at work.

Along with my daily showering . . .to help me relax I have taken baths at night. Its been so nice.It helps that when I was in Utah my mom gave me my belated birthday present. . a basket with sugar vanilla lotion, bubble bath, body spray and a candle. Its pure heaven add in some chill tunes and well there are no words.

Because of the baths I have also shaved my legs twice in one week. If you know me you know this nigh on to a miracle :) My sister would be so proud.

Blogged

Let's Go To The Mall Part II

2009-01-22T21:46:00.003-07:00

I went back to the mall yesterday to complete my quest: Finding adorable hair accessories for Cassy's wedding day hair.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

I went to Icing not only did the accessory store have what I wanted for Cassy's hair, but it held many more treasures. (I have decided I should not be allowed back in the mall unless I leave my wallet at home and only allow myself a cash allowance) Needless to say it was absolutely essential that I get new shiny, dangley earrings and then of course I had to get studs for my the second piercing in my ears.

After I left there I made a fatal shopping error. I went to my favorite store . . . Torrid (the curvy girls dream store). Its not a huge store and I am sure I made my way around it ten times. I was talking myself into and out of buying new clothes. I grabbed some perfume because it was only $4.00. Then I justified a black long sleeve shirt. (If I may digress for a moment. . .I have very few clothes. I have a huge closet and I use less then a quarter of it. I can wash all my clothes in one load if I don't include my many pairs of jammies.) I walked up to pay and looked at the cashier and told her to tell me I needed a $50 pair of jeans. She said yes you do. I then told her my favorite pair of jeans are tore up and the other pair I have fit me weird. She said that was horrible and I absolutely needed a pair of $50 jeans. I as I grabbed the beautiful new jeans on the counter, I said new jeans are more important the groceries, right?. She said yes. That was all I the convincing I needed. She rang me up. I am determined to prove she must have been one of Satan's evil minions.

However now that I have all of these new purchases in my possession I am glad that I was tempted and spent the money.

The moral of this story is every once in a while its ok to splurge on yourself.
You DESERVE it!!!

Let's go to the Mall

2009-01-18T12:58:00.004-07:00

On Saturday in an effort to join the human race I went to the mall. I left my house and instantly wished I had stayed home and taken a nap. I am not the biggest fan of crowds but I do enjoy people watching. My main purpose for going to the mall -other then just to get out of the house- was to go to Borders. I have been reading The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde online and its making me nuts. I prefer to have books in my hands. I love the smell of books. The way they feel and the way the look. It is comforting to me. I digress back to the mall.

As I roamed the stores of the Boise Town Center mall I observed quite a few things that made me laugh and roll my eyes.
*Mothers dragging their daughters around shopping for make-up and all things girly. The daughters making the "I wish you weren't here mom" face.
*Teenage "couples" hugging and holding hands and making me gag.
*A sweet boy on his phone telling someone that its better to go to Banana Republic because they will shop for you. Apparently the employees their just bring you clothes. I wouldn't know because Banana Republic is out of my size and price range.
*The restrooms practically require a map and compass to get to.
*Single fathers looking exhausted with their kids following them closely pointing to things they want and need.

All in all it was a good way to re-aclimate myself to humanity as I have been a shut in for the last 3 months. It was a fun adventure and I will be going back later this week. I am on a quest to find the most adorable piece of hair flair for my friend who is getting married on Saturday. Wish me luck.

Babbling Becky

2009-01-15T22:21:00.004-07:00

It used to be that the one way I could clear my head was to write. I would sit down with a pen and notebook and would just let it all flow. It would usually end in a glimmer of self discovery. I don't do that anymore. However I am desperate tonight because I haven't fallen asleep before 1:30 am in a week. If you know me this is truly out of character for me.

I was a half hour late for work today because I slept through my alarm. Thank God they just laughed at me. I moved snail like through my day. Every time my supervisor looked at me she gave me the "You poor girl look". A valid look considering today I appeared to be a zombie.

I forced myself to go to Walmart tonight. Ok I am exagerating. I needed some retail therapy. It was the most amazingly peaceful Walmart experience I have ever had. It was a wonderful Walmart quiet, clean, wide aisles and bright. I of course spent much more then I had anticipated. I was inclined to buy 2 different kinds of mascara. One mascara I know I like the other is a new kind that is supposed to enhance my eye color. I bought hair dye. I am nervous because its a brand that I have never used and its a shade lighter then I have been dying my hair for years. The reason I am going a shade lighter is because I have found the base color of my hair is now gray not dark brown and it doesn't take the dark brown so well. I also bought sleepy time tea. Which I am drinking as I write this fine example of babbling.

It seems the combination of the tea and the babbling is making me very drowsy.

So Much To Say

2009-01-08T19:53:00.002-07:00

I feel like I have so much to say (blog), but I feel like I will say(blog)something ridiculous and it will be electronically imprinted for the rest of ETERNITY. Its not as if this is a little journal that I can burn after reading. Am I supposed to write witty clever things, intellectual rants or deep soul searching prose? Should I worry about being blunt, random and honest for fear of offending someone or being perceived as bitter jade unfiltered woman looking for another medium to lash out? Its obvious the answer to these questions do not require a rocket science, nifty equations or complicated graphs. I suppose its a matter of letting go of my fears of what other people think and feel about me.

To empower myself I declare to all of my blog followers and any other bystanders I will write without fear. I will not over analyze (thats not true I will because its my nature). I will just write.

My Return to Blogging

2009-01-02T13:28:00.000-07:00

I know its ridiculous how long it has been since I have written ANYTHING. Here is my update. I still don't drink soda (ok I have one soda a month). I haven't been able to kick the sweets though. . .dang it! I am now living in my own cute place in Boise, ID. Things are going well.

I wish there was more to report. I am lacking in the excitement department. In fact I have a friend that likes to remind me I am the most boring person EVER. Frankly, that's ok with me. I know that my life won't be this quiet forever, so I am enjoying.

Sweets and Soda

2008-06-24T22:20:00.000-06:00

Sweets and Soda I am no longer your play thing. You cannot control me with your sweet taste and addictive personality. I will not succumb to the cravings I have for you at 8am - 5pm. I no longer need you to get me through the day. Our relationship is completely unhealthy and you can't convince me otherwise. NO. . .don't try to tempt me with the diet/low calorie/low fat versions of you. I will not settle for second best. . .you know that. No matter what anyone says frozen yogurt is not better then ice cream, Diet Dr Pepper doesn't have the rich smooth taste of Original Dr Pepper and a Snickers Protein Bar will only make me want a Snickers Candy bar. This is the end of the road for us. I will miss you more then you will miss me, I accept that. Farewell my loves.

My First

2008-04-16T19:03:00.000-06:00

This is my re-introduction to blogging. I have been steering clear of all internet related activity lately. Lately meaning the last 6 months. However that is a story in and of its self, and it definitely has a life of its own. Its not a story or a life that I am ready to post to the world yet.
I guess the real question is what am I ready to post to the world? The answer is that I am not certain. See I love to write. I find it very therapeutic. I know I will be able to let go of a lot of anger and heart-ache and I will be able to share a lot of joy and laughter by writing.
I have been doing a lot of self-evaluation and trying to be more pro-active about my life. What I mean is I am sick of sitting on the sidelines and watching life go by. For the first time I want to play. I want feel the wind blow through my hair as I run. I want to be free of the binding fear that I won't succeed. I want to experience the joy of complete disregard for the "consequences" and the "what if's". I want to be ruled by light and not by dark clouds.
I continue to learn that if there is a silver lining it doesn't have to be followed by a cloud. There can be another silver lining after it, even better there can be a rainbow. I am by nature cynical. . .its a very counterproductive way to be. I am amazed at how challenging it is to be a positive person. Part of the more mature me is looking forward to conquering that challenge.